Coco's Dream

Finding the motivation

So I’ve been on a temp contract for 7 months, with repeated assurances that my position would become permanent…but it got delayed, and delayed. And delayed some more. What a huge giant surprise when my manager finally acknowledged my requests to discuss it with her, only to tell me that my contract won’t be renewed at the end of this month and it was decided that I’m not a good fit after all.

Although it wasn’t unexpected, it was still a blow to be told I’m not a good fit for a job I’ve been doing for 7 months at this company and that features heavily on my resume (and a job that’s the most basic of basic, really).

My motivation for this job just died, and for some reason it’s affected my motivation to work on the second semester of courses for the program that I hope will change my career path.

The only thing that I haven’t lost focus on is continuing my p90x workouts. I guess I feel like it’s something I can easily control - no one else is involved with my decision to do the workouts and try to eat more healthily. I might be underemployed but I’m gonna be the hot temp, yo!

I think I’m going to have to post a picture of me failing to do a roll-up…I can’t seem to activate my core muscles to pull my body up and it is sad. I’ve never been good at sit-ups or crunches so I assumed that I have no ab muscles but it’s been pointed out to me that I can do other core exercises. When I try to do a crunch, my neck muscles tense up and I just can’t get them to relax.

Getting on the Healthy Train

Growing up, I had an extremely healthy lifestyle. My mom’s favourite things to eat are fish and vegetables, and she doesn’t like fat, salt or sugar. She also doesn’t really like going out to restaurants, so I think we’d eat out only when there was absolutely no other option. We also walked a lot because we lived in a convenient location and she didn’t like driving.

This was great growing up but it also meant that when I moved away from home, I went a little crazy in the other direction. I moved away for university, came home and then left for Japan…and since the first year of uni, I’ve been struggling with the same 20 pounds.

Even in Japan? I think I was out drinking 3 to 4 nights a week, and eating the salty fried foods that seem to go hand in hand with alcohol. I was also eating a ton of rice, and I don’t care how much the Japanese claim their rice is healthy and slimming, it’s still a carbohydrate. It is some of the best rice I’ve ever eaten though.

I’m not sure how much I gained while in Japan but I constantly felt bloated and uncomfortable, especially around the teensy tiny Japanese girls. This was especially hard as I’m a short mixed kid with a teensy tiny Asian mom, so why was I so monstrous in comparison to the dainty Japanese girls? My distorted body image issues probably merit their own blog entry or they’ll just take this one over…

I was on the way to being happy with my body image (no, actually I was still messed up but I could fit into my skinny pants) when I met Jae and moved in. Living together, we indulged each other with food and inactivity. Then this fall, Jae found out that he could have a serious health issue and it got us both thinking about the future. Luckily, the ultimate diagnosis was positive (ummm the tests came back negative, so it was positive?) but some lifestyle adjustments were recommended.

Since the first week of January, we’ve cleaned up our diet and both started exercise regimens. Jae’s being going to the gym at least once a day, and I’ve been doing P90X workout videos recommended by my friend. It’s been amazing getting healthy together - diet with Jae and exercise with my friend.

I’m not an avid exercise-nut by any means, and this is my first time attempting a structured workout program but I’ve been really enjoying the P90X videos. They’re long but not tedious, hard but not impossible. I find them a good mix of cardio and strength training, which I need because my muscles are sad. I’m not following the nutrition plan because Jae does all the cooking at our house (I know! I should give him a break once in a while) but since he’s working so hard to make nutritious, balanced meals all I have to do is portion control.

It feels so good to be taking this journey together, to being responsible for our healthy futures.